Sunday, September 23, 2012


I am in a melancholy state of mind, an emotional state that took me a while to understand. I am naturally a happy person, who loves to laugh at the top of her lungs, do so till my ribs hurt and I can no longer utter a sound. I also cherish my solitude, and I can comfortably be a loner - for a while. In my twenties I didn't understand this, because the moods came and went without necessarily something triggering the change.  I misunderstood and disliked it. I've come to understand that I need that mood swing to keep me balanced - I guess you can call me a typical Cancer. I do a lot of thinking and coming back to my core when feeling this way, and it fuels me! I enjoy being alone, listen to soft melancholy music, and do whatever it is I might want to do. To some this might sound depressing, but for me it isn't at all. Having kids, this obviously doesn't happen as much, I can grab a quiet hour here and there, but I don't have the luxury of just taking hours to myself and reflecting and decompressing. I guess you just find new ways of doing things when motherhood comes. 

I naturally gravitate towards bold bright interiors, but I also respond to gorgeous moody, dark spaces just the same. This juxtaposition of likes is what makes me who I am. I think its no coincidence that I love both Fall and Summer and if asked to pick a favorite I can't. I love different aspects of both seasons, as they both allow me to nuture the different sides of me that I have come to love about myself. A wonderful thing happened when I turned 30, its like a switch automatically came on that shone a  light to help me understand certain things about myself more, and to be absolutely okay with a lot of my eccentricities....I say a lot because I am a working progress like everyone else. :)

What keeps you going? Do you need down time to decompress and comeback stronger? What keeps your creativity going?

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